Philosophical Practice | Adi Tenenbaum

The Case of "No-Judgment" Therapy

After years of following traditional psychological therapy, I didn't feel that its theories alone helped me navigate difficult decisions, or made me more empathetic.

I've realized that the "therapeutic" was disturbingly detached from the "ethical". Therapy was a space with no judgment, and this was problematic because I didn't want a lack of judgment in my life. I wanted to live well and right (whatever that meant at the time), and to be able to take a hard look and what I regarded as absolute and universal values.

As I was discussing my clients' anxieties with them during sessions, it made some sense to clarify the childhood experiences which reinforced these anxieties. However it alone didn't help us figure out what, as an adult, they actually think and feel about things like faithfulness, monogamy, family, success, or what gave their lives meaning.

When we're stressed, feeling uneasy in our marriage, questioning our career choices, or grappling with personal identity and life purpose, understanding the original source rooted in our childhood and how they shaped patterns in our lives, isn't always sufficient.

To devise a path that aligns closely with our desires, we need to reflect on how we perceive these issues.

We need to defined what we consider self-value, consciously considered our views on things like betrayal and jealousy, or failure; our responsibilities to colleagues, our child, ourselves, as well as our understanding of things like regret. loss, or grief - grief for others, for a home, for parts of ourselves, for time.

Entrepreneur Patrick Gentempo said it pretty accurately:

"If we just spent a little bit of time considering and learning about our philosophy, we could change our lives".

Not rationalizing the values we do have, but thinking about the values we should have, is what leads us to change.

While psychology is concerned with our patterns and structures, philosophy leads us down a much more open road.

Not taking human conditions as absolute, it gives a person a much broader perspective on his experience, and a wider range of options available to him.

However, by asking the right, hard questions, it also empowers us to pave the way for sustainable, honest solutions.

Achieving an understanding about our beliefs can be much simpler and straightforward than an exploration of our history. We can achieve profound insights from our day-to-day reactions, and work with them.

More About Philosophical Counseling

The use of philosophy in dealing with life and difficulty is nothing new, and was practiced as a a pragmatic approach to address the human predicament long before Freud.

In fact, more than two thousand years ago Epicurus characterized philosophy as "therapy of the soul."

Therefore it is perhaps not surprising that the major psychological approaches are based on philosophical approaches that preceded them:

Psychoanalysis on Nietzsche's approach, humanistic and existential psychology on existential philosophy, phenomenological approaches on Husserl and Heidegger,

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is based on the Greek and Roman Stoic tradition, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) takes its name from Hegel's dialectic,

And the list goes on.

We may not always think of it this way, but we do philosophy every day.

From our most ordinary decisions to what bothers us, what stresses us, and what wakes us up in the morning, lingering heavily on our chests.

We are thinking creatures, and often our thoughts are scattered and even chaotic.

Our values and desires seem at odds, and nothing makes much sense. This feeling, that burdens our chest in the morning, brings about a heaviness that stays with us throughout the day. Most of the time, this is something that we would ignore as long as it is 'bearable.' At other times, we'll go to a therapist, track its historical background, reveal the pattern, give it some context. At times, this is helpful. It can even lead to change. But often we would still feel fragile, uneased, and insecure. We'll do yoga, watch a seminar and practice meditation, but the mind won't give us rest.

As an academic philosopher who also works hard to be a practical philosopher, I contend that philosophy is the most practical thing a human being can hope to embrace.

I'm talking about putting-dollars-in-your-pocket practical, I'm talking about creating-a-better-relationship practical, I'm talking about being-a-better-parent practical.